On Feeling “Old”

Those hoodlums need to keep it down!

So being (well) past the point of 21 and having a steady and stable job has made me realize certain things.

I sound like my dad half the time. (Ex: “Don’t they know what time it is? SOME people have to get up and be at work tomorrow at 8AM!”) I’m cranky if I don’t get enough sleep. When 930 rolls around, if I’m not heading towards bed something’s up. Also, my tolerance level for bullshit and shenanigans has decreased IMMENSELY. Kids are idiots these days. I define “kids” as anyone still in undergrad and/or under the age of 23. For some reason, in my experience being 24 and more has brought with it certain insight into what being an “adult” truly entails.

Being entirely self-sufficient has its definite positives and negatives. Certainly I prefer making and spending my own money, but sometimes I think back to just a few years ago to just how good I used to have it. Not having to worry about paying rent, for health insurance, etc was quite the example of ignorance being bliss. For example, I recently had to have an appendectomy. It was all very exciting (not). I’m lucky enough to have health insurance with my job, but of course there are limits and loopholes galore. Emergency room fees, tests, the actual procedure, and hospital stay rounded out at a pretty hefty sum. I won’t scare you with actual number. Plus, every time I see the number, a little part of my soul dies.

 

 

 

Maybe I should move to Canada. I could begin a rant about healthcare in this country, but I’ll spare you (for now). ANYWAY- I am also lucky enough to have sick days and vacation days at my current job. I used all of my sick days and 1/4 of my vacation days recovering from the surgery (It’s only MARCH 1ST). If I had stayed out a full two weeks UNPAID, only then would I be eligible for short-term disability benefits. HAHA- two weeks unpaid. Can you imagine doing that when you know you have a ridiculously large bill heading your way in the near future? I mean, in the words of Sweet Brown “Ain’t nobody got time for that”. Daddy isn’t gonna pay the bill, I am. Herein lies my issue with adulthood. I am extremely blessed to have a steady job with benefits and I am well aware of that fact. It does not, however mean that everything is sunshine and butterflies 24/7. I’m grateful, but also concerned about my ability to handle everything on my own. This is one of the reasons I guess some women look for men to take care of them. Unfortunately (but I also like to think fortunately) I don’t have it in me to use another human being like that. Also, my ego won’t allow it. I have to handle everything ALL THE TIME with NO HELP from ANYONE! (However unrealistic, this thought frequently runs through my mind).

I didn’t realize how much I’ve been rambling. Apologies to you (somewhat- cause nobody is making you read this). However, adulthood all in all is great but scary. Adults would always tell me when I was younger to enjoy it while I could, whilst I rushed into adulthood at full speed. They do, however, say that hindsight is 20/20.

Too bad I don’t have 20/20 vision… and it’s not like I can go back to seeing the world through rose-colored lenses. *SIGH*

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